Warning: Reading this article could lead to serious literacy risks and could impair
your ability to think rationally. If you can read at all, avoid consumption at all
costs. Must be born before Sept. 23, 1983, to read.
Scan the Associated Press’ Texas high school football poll and one team has a
statewide voting advantage: the Shiner Comanches.
Three things are widely known about Texas. The Alamo doesn’t have a basement,
the barbecue can only be beef and the tiny town of Shiner brews the best beer east
or west of the Mississippi (Sorry Schlitz, Shiner Bock gets the nod).
Mmm, Shiner Bock is good beer. Could make a man walk from Maine to the Lone Star
state for a six-pack. Could also make a sportswriter vote the Comanches No. 1
(Not this sportswriter. I don’t get a vote).
The Comanches are No. 1 in the 1A poll this week. Finishing 2003 as the state
runner-up and undefeated this season, they deserve their due. They have a talented
back in all-state running back Chris Baer.
Without seeing the team play, I don’t doubt the Comanches’ ability and truly
respect the program.
That’s not the beer talking either.
Shiner head coach Steve Cerny has been with the program for 17 years. First thing
he hears when he informs a new acquaintance where he lives is "Oh man, that’s a
great beer."
Cerny said he’d like the town to be known for a good football program as well.
With the Comanches’ success lately, it has become the home of two great products.
"It’s a little more than beer," Cerny said.
But sometimes is it really about football? No, sometimes it’s about the beer.
Sure, McCamey is No. 7 in the polls but it doesn’t have a brewery. And Marfa is
playing well but all it has is a wine bar. With no allegiances to a local 1A team,
why not root for Shiner?
Of the 20 sports writers voting in the poll how many do you think have seen
Shiner play?
Here’s a better question: How many has had the town’s beer? Um, a lot.
Think about your average community newspaper sports writer. Three delicacies
are held high for him -- beef, football and beer.
Friday should start with a smoky brisket plate. Add a night filled with football
then wash it all down with a longneck. A writer covers one game each night, but
he can have two beers. Oh whatever, make that a 12-pack because he doesn’t have
to wake up until 2:30 p.m. to go to work anyway.
Texas is football, football, football. That much is clear.
Texas is also Shiner Bock, Shiner Blonde, Shiner Light, Shiner Hefeweizen and
Shiner Summer Stock.
Shiner, Texas, has the beer and the football. That’s two-thirds of the holy
trinity located in a southeast Texas town of only 2,000.
It’s unfair. How can Iraan compete in the polls? The Spoetzl Brewing Co. pumps
out 5,600 cases a day. That’s roughly 280 cases per AP voter.
If Shiner had a famous barbecue joint then they’d always be No. 1 in the
preseason AP poll. Even if it didn’t serve beef but -- oh man -- pork it
wouldn’t matter.
We’re talking about good beer and football here, people. And a lot of it to be
consumed.
F.A. "Bro" Krift
Bro's columns appear Thursdays. Bro covers Odessa High
and District 3-5A Football for the Odessa American.
E-mail comments may be sent to oa@link.freedom.com,
where they will be forwarded to the columnist.
Beer plus football is a truly great tailgating experience. A brewery plus a team
is truly a great voting experience.
Now Texas sportswriters should love Shiner Bock beer as much as any brew. It’s
rich, full-bodied and as cheap as any domestic on tap because of the close
vicinity of the Spoetzl Brewing Co.
The Comanches have 15 first place votes. By applying the scientific method, my
calculations show that’s 15 Shiner drinkers. Of the five who didn’t vote for
them, two are wine spritzer drinkers and the other three probably just found out
about Zima.
Everyone knows polls don’t matter, especially when a tournament decides the
champion. No one is seriously voting for Shiner because of the beer. It’s based
on Baer and the other talent for Comanches.
But for a good hometown brew and a great football team, give the Shiner Comanches
a cheer.
© Copyright
BaerCom - Shiner, Texas 2004